Nana is becoming sad as always when the new year comes. At the same time, I’m becoming more calm. I’m accepting that the problems I deal with are actually nothing. There are so many bigger problems than just exams, gaining weight, grades, or relationships. Some people are fighting for life. Some people have to deal with too much and I can’t imagine how they are going through it.
When I write on my medium, I’m like the wisest person😂 I just decide to narrow down the things in my head when I understand and realize something. Yesterday I realized again that I’m nothing in this infinitely big universe. Getting stressed about exams and assignments? Can’t be as skinny as I used to be? So what. In the worst case, I fail the courses and buy new pants. IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I see some students are too childish and they care too much about tiny problems. I just assume that they’ve never experienced hard problems like losing a friend or a family member. When someone overcomes a hardship, they become more resilient. They can be calmer and wiser than others when things go wrong.
Recently I’ve been so stressed about not getting an internship and getting rejected by every company I apply to. I have to get a full-time job offer before my graduation to stay in Europe. The situation in Mongolia is too bad. They get stuck on the road for 4 hours because of the traffic. If they want to walk, it’s -30 degrees outside and the air pollution is intolerable. This year we have another surprise, gas shortage. My mom left home at 5 am to find some gas for her car. WTF. Since I was a child I worked hard to study abroad, and I got a scholarship. Now I should find a job. It will be a big fail if I go back to that unhealthy, stressful, unliveable environment. I don’t want to talk shit about my own country, but it is what it is. I’m jealous of the people from normal countries who don’t have to wait in line for hours to buy gas.
This semester has been so hard. Besides the assignments and exams, I spent a lot of time on our club GDSC. We made 4 events this semester and the last one was huge. Even though I was so tired and stressed about the events, I’m so happy to work with good people and learn things. When I applied, I just wanted some extracurricular activities to add to my CV. It is much bigger than just adding one sentence to my CV, my organizational, communication, and time management skills are improving.
See you soon with “goodbye 2023”, my reindeer:)
2023.12.22
