I always change my mind. In my last article, I was planning to apply to Japanese and American universities. But now, I am applying to Stipendium Hungaricum. I feel like it is the right choice for me when I decide things. But how can I know whether the decision is right or wrong when I don’t know the result? I’d rather give it a try and see how it goes.
First of all, I prepared for SAT for over a month and I got 1310. I just got my score today and I am really happy with it. It doesn’t affect my probability to get accepted in Stipendium Hungaricum. But it is important to apply to Italian universities and send my score to KUAS (the Japanese university that I applied to). I almost have a “habit” of preparing for exams. After I took the exam which I prepared for it a lot, I started to think about what to do. Now, I am pondering whether I have to take IELTS again. I can get band 7 but I am just being unlucky and I can’t be that confident.
The only thing that I have to do to apply to Stipendium Hungaricum is the motivation letter. I should learn some programming languages in order to write about my experience. I don’t know whether I like computer science, so I have to learn and research. Sometimes I feel like I can enjoy anything if I strive. I hope that I will like computer science.
University life is so boring for me. There are no classes for freshmen in NUM and I made no friends this semester. I only go to my school 2 or 3 times a week. How do people meet each other and become friends? It should be easy but I can’t — I am a fucking introvert. I always feel lonely. No matter I am in public, with my friends, or at home alone, I feel lonely. I just want to have someone to love, understand, hang out with, and most importantly, to talk to.
This year, I learned how to love myself, truly. Music is my therapy. Music is the most reliable friend which is with me every time. If there were no Beatles’ and Taylor’s songs, I would kill myself. Thank you guys for saving my life and helping me to love living.
21.12.18 nana
